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The fog severely restricted our spotting and made us move at half speed.

The Allied centre advanced and took up positions on the Pratzen heights. The left under Kienmayer
refusing on the flank. Prebyshersky was in reserve there and there were two fakes deployed
behind the crest too. This kept the French right guessing and a stand-off ensued. We were really
chuffed by lunch as we had all the key positions and were ready for them.

After about six moves, as I recall, the fog dissipated and movement rates were back to normal.
Spotting by both sides was absolutely atrocious all day long. A multitude of ones, twos and threes
meant that even by the end of the game there were still blinds on the table. Both sides had by then
worked out where the fakes were.

After lunch Daz informed Nod that we had to attack! Biff had to leave to go to work but Nod and I
moved the centre forward all the way to the Goldbach and Kobelnitz, where our arses were kicked.
We had really beaten up on Douche (Bernadotte) with our heavy guns but attacking across the
Goldbach caused us to be disordered and gave the enemy a + terrain advantage.

Our attack stalled, and eventually routed, as shaken units were hit by artillery and routed after failing
bombardement tests. This started to have a knock on effect really weakening our centre.

On the left Kienmayer kept Soult at bay and when Davout arrived it was looking really hairy for the
Allies. Phil did a sterling job though forcing two Corps into square and thereby moving 2" instead of
8". The affair with the French cavalry was very hard fought but he initially saw them off with help
from my reserve Cavalry (Uvarov).

Weight of numbers told when the Szeckler Hussars were routed back through their O'Reilly
Chevaux-Leger supports, by Chasseurs a Cheval and supporting infantry. The Szecklers had failed
to make an opportunity charge and become disordered prior to the charge which was telling.

Prebyshersky lost three Battalions which were assaulted by enemy Infantry, but the pursuing
French were hit in the flank by Cossacks who routed two Battalions. Uvarov (me again) then hit the
routers wiping them from the map.

We had managed to hold the left but it was obvious that weight of numbers would be telling in any
subsequent moves.

Liechtenstein and Bagration (Aaron) on the Allied right had been unleashed but enemy artillery had
caused significant casualties. Bagration charged Kellermann with both sides pulling off, blown out
of artillery range.

Liechtenstein managed to advance and charge Oudinot's Grenadiers. One Battery was captured
and another had to abandon guns but his infantry saw off Liechtenstein, albeit temporarily.

Back in the centre as Nod and me hung on grimly as our command and control fell apart. We kept
rolling 1's for our Poor Commanders and poor Kutuzov came up after Poor/Cautious card four
turns in a row preventing him from changing orders and committing Constantine. Doubtless this
was the effect of the accompanying Emperor and Czar preventing Nod from also moving within 20"
the French troops.

Bessieres was forced over to the French right flank to support the flailing of Soult and Davout.
Murat's Cuirassiers were unleashed and with a one Regt in line frontage the entire Division began to
move, hooves pounding the frosty slopes. The French Chasseurs a Cheval of the Guard with
Mamelukes attached (12 figures in all) charged two batteries of Allied heavy artillery, but were
intercepted by the Elisabetgrad Hussars. The Hussars were routed and batteries lost!

The hinge of the pushed back Allied left/Allied centre was held by me! Mildoradovich/Kollowrath and
my forces were largely in rout or permanently shaken and Murat was heading towards me!

The game ended with the prospect of me being totally defeated by Murat's troopers on the cards. I
could have/would have withdrawn over a small stream which would have caused them disorder if
the'd attacked but they would have gone straight through Uvarov and Kienmayer like a hot knife
through butter and cut through our entire army.

It was a truly great game and I think we had fought incredibly well, much, much better than our
historical counterparts, but then we didn't have Weyrother's dodgy plan!

ld like to thank Daz, Rich and Nick for making the day possible. Honestly I have no idea how much
work goes into these sorts of things. Games at Wally HQ take up enough time to get things sorted
God only knows what you guys go through. Daz, for one, looked shattered by the end but seemed
really enthused. Its very nice to
see a great part of your own collection an a table that big every once in a while.

Cheers to Daz for letting us use his superb figures, creating the table and umpiring what will
become a 'Legend of Lard'.

I would like to say a big thank you to our French opponents at Austerlitz;

'Mother' Tucker (Napoleon/Bessieres/Murat),
Harpers (Soult/Davout),
Douche (Bernadotte)
Max (Kellermann/Oudinot).

Cheers for the laughs guys. Great fun and spirit shone throughout like the sun at Austerlitz.

Plus a huge thank you to my fellow Allies;

Nod (Kutuzov/Constantine and later on Doctorov and Langeron too),
Aaron (Bagration/Liechtenstein),
Biff (Doctorov/Langeron..sadly had to leave at lunch to go to work),
Phil (Kienmayer/Prebyshersky).

Nod did an amazing job planning our effort. Simple plan (for us it had to be!) which we almost pulled
off. Our command and control, due to dice rolling broke down in the afternoon but it was no fault of
anyones. We hardly put a foot wrong all day which was why it was so close throughout. Even new
guys Aaron and Phil did fantastic jobs with their cavalry in particular keeping us in the game for the
entire day.

As ever all games were conducted very much in the Spirit of Lard. This is a phenomenon that
deserves to be witnessed in person, but here are some examples;

Daz drawing the cards as umpire at Austerlitz "Bagration", [door suddenly bursts open as Aaron
arrives right on cue late back from lunch (bloody long queue apparently) to much laughter and
mirth]

My two C Class, SK0, Battalions of Russian line hit in right flank by a brace of B class, SK2,
Battalions de Ligne. I need to score six twice for my troops to turn to face the charge....unbelievably
I ROLL TWO SIXES! Cursing, laughter and jeers from opponents as I punch the air in triumph....Mike
Brian (Aristillus) walks in, from Traflagar to have a gander at Austerlitz. He looks on standing next to
me as I roll 2D6 to work out the effect of the combat. I ROLL TWO ONES! "Ooops" says Mike as the
French players fall around in hysterics and my troops rout. At that point Mike decides to leave as I
question his legitmiate birth and suggest that he withdraw to enter into coitus with his mother (not
Andy!) after jinxing me.

I'd like to say hello and thanks too to the 'Sailor Boys' next door; 'Nelson' Mike (Aristillus - hope the
buildings are OK), 'Villeneuve' Sid, Jez, Mr T, Martin (Culture Pig - thanks for the figures mate) well
deserved winner of the "Twat in the Hat" competition and Dom (Morale Absolutist) and anyone else
I've forgotten. Sorry I didn't get to natter to you as much as I'd liked. I even forgot to try Martin's
French Onion soup! Cheers again folks. Next year Jena?



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	Sunday 30th October 2005 saw the Too Fat Lardies bicentennial refight of the battle of Austerlitz 1805. Below is the field of Austerlitz at the start. Allied blinds Red French Blue



Whew! What a great day's gaming. The Allies were eventually defeated by Napoleon and his cronies, though we still held the Pratzen Heights, Pratzen and Blasowitz at the end and had even tried attacking troops over the Goldbach. Had the game gone on for another hour though, we would have been toast. Throughout the morning the French sat in the fog awaiting our assault and trying to count our bayonets and depositions. Aaron (Bagration/Liechtenstein) was on the Allied right facing Kellermann and Oudinot (Max), Biff (Doctorov/Langeron) ranged from Pratzen to Blasowitz, myself (Mildoradovich/Kollowrath) deployed with right flank on Pratzen village both of us facing Berdadotte (Douche), Napoleon, Bessieres and Murat(all Andy) and Phil(Kienmayer/Prebyshersky) covering the left flank opposite Harpers (Soult and later Davout). Nod C-in-C (Kutusov/Constantine) remained in the rear trying desperately to keep things going. Initial French light cavalry probes down both flanks were replelled early on. Bagration getting first blood.